The big book of birthdays

My sudden interest in nostalgic trips (in case you missed my blast from the past, click here) and birthday cakes, is largely due to a milestone birthday.

I love birthdays. Always have, and I suspect always will.

I take notes on this day in a big book - a book full of past birthdays.

A few of you probably pictured a flesh and blood book with cursive writing. Though the idea has crossed my mind to make it more tangible, for the time being, it exists in my head.

But I remember it well.

Pages 1-20 have few entries (I probably ate and slept through those years.)

Pages 21 - 39 - a little more activity (friendships, adventure, and adulting.)

But what had me really excited was page 40.

Friends and family told me it was special. One of a kind.

So imagine my surprise when I turned to the page and saw a generic checklist.

"Do you have a successful career? "

"Do you make a six-figure salary? "

"Do you have two kids, are married and have an insta worthy home? "

I was disillusioned. Was this all I had to show for the time that went by?

A fixed criteria that decided success or the lack thereof.  A silent competition running in the background, pitting us against each other - I made it and you didn't, it's tagline.

Surely, there had to be more.

Changing the template

Since the generic template was not to my liking, I expanded my search.

I looked for ideas and words that fit my 40th page better.

And if they didn't fit yet, but were interesting enough, I saved them. To apply to the later years - 50, 60 or perhaps even 70?

The Words

#1 Brave

My son has a book titled, 'I am brave.'

It is a heartwarming tale of a little boy who does things outside his comfort zone - he gets a haircut, eats something green, and looks under a dark, scary bed. All of which makes him feel very brave indeed.

It remained my favorite book for the longest time. For one simple reason.

It didn't ask for great feats of heroism. All it asked was to step out of comfort zones.

I toyed with the idea of writing for years.

Putting my thoughts down on a digital piece of paper that many people read has consequences. There is adulation. But there is also criticism - heaps of it.

But I write because writing brings me alive. And I try scary things because not trying them limits my joy.

Entry on page 40 - I am brave.

#2 Healthy

I've mentioned my triathlon coach a few times previously. What I didn't mention is that she is nearly 60.

While not all of us aspire to be iron man athletes, being disease-free is a common goal at any age.

If that requires showing our body love by eating right and moving more, then it is a mindset shift worth embracing.

Entry on page 40 - I have the energy to do the things I love.

#3 Learner

The need to learn something new visits me often.

It could be something as simple as making hearts in my coffee, or something more complicated like swimming or playing an instrument.

A few years ago, the idea of playing a musical instrument was high on my list.

My son's music teacher at the time played multiple instruments. I remember feeling transfixed when she obliged us by playing the cello one time.

Love at first listen. Wonder.

So I took lessons.

I struggled and still do. Things don't come easy. But I know if I stick to it, it will eventually get easier.

Entry on page 40 - I can learn difficult things (even as an adult)

#4 Nurturer

The word above, I particularly like. But I'm going to use it a little differently.

Let's add the word 'self' in front of it.

Self-nurturer. Someone who takes care of themselves.

I take myself out and try new things. I eat at my favorite restaurants and read the books I love.

When I return from my solo adventures, I gladly become the nurturer my family and friends need.

Because someone who takes care of themselves can take care of everyone and everything around them better.

Entry on page 40 - I put my oxygen mask on first (because there is nothing selfless about dying.)

#5 Patient

Watch the video below (you will miss the context of what I'm about to say, if you don't.)

That's my son. And I suspect your kids too.

We all earned the patience badge for raising kids. No questions asked.

Entry on page 40 - I have the patience of a saint :)

The return gift

Thank you for joining me, and I hope you had fun.

I shared the above thoughts hoping to show that growing older brings joy.

And give you reassurance that we are never too old or too late, to try anything.

Feel free to borrow some of my words (or make up your own).

I would love to see your birthday books' scratched with new words and squiggly lines.

Remember, the book doesn't have to be perfect. It only has to be you.